


God is a duck

by Geradsredskittle666



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Actually ADHD writer, Author Projecting onto Crowley (Good Omens), Autistic Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Has ADHD (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley gets distracted, Crowley had autism, Crowley is Bad at Being a Demon (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Crowley likes ducks, God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), God is a Duck, God is sick of Crowleys shit, Neurodivergent Aziraphale (Good Omens), Neurodivergent Crowley, The Author Regrets Nothing, actually autistic writer, because why not?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:28:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26373466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geradsredskittle666/pseuds/Geradsredskittle666
Summary: Crowley gets distracted by a duck...who may or may not be God in disguise. I mean, that wouldn’t really surprise anyone at this point, would it really? Pairings: Crowley/Azirphale friendship...and pining...like normal.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	God is a duck

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Good Omens and its trademarks and other properties are not my property. I do not make and do not intend to profit from this work in any way. This work is a fan creation using these characters in a creative work intended as entertainment only.   
> I do not give permission for anyone to take this work and post it elsewhere, unless explicitly given permission from me. If linked, shared or given permission to repost in any amount of words, credit must be correctly given to me as the author of this work and the rightful owners of Good Omens as the owners of source material.

**START**

Crowley and Azirphale were walking in the park. Azirphale was talking...Crowley had tuned out like he usually did. He really did try to keep his focus on his angel but he couldn’t help but drift. His eyes scanned the park, not really looking for anything. He looked at the pond, the water looked to calm. Serene. He wondered what it was like to be so still and unmoving. To be so unmoved that the surface merely rippled then was calm again.

He watched the ducks drift across the surface. They seemed to just float over the surface, unhurried. Calm. Serene. He watched a mother duck swim, her ducklings in tow in a line behind her. It was simply adorable! Could demons use that word and still be considered demonic? He paused and gave the idea great thought. Maybe. But only if it applied to certain things. Like ducklings. Or Azirphale. Yes. Not angels or niceness or other _undemonlike_ things. He decided that ducks were adorable and he was a demon; therefore it was a perfectly demonic thing to think. Not quite as demonic as say tempting, or plagues...or wars...or seductions but it wasn’t _undemonic_.

That settled, he turned his mind back to the ducks. He watched them paddle across the pond happily. They were delightful creatures. Beside him he heard a frustrated sigh. “I lost you again, didn’t I?” he dimly heard his angel say.

He grinned. What he had _wanted_ to say was: “Sorry about that. I must have drifted off.” What he _actually_ said was: “Ducks are delightful!” in a very excitable tone. _Decidedly undemonlike._ He realised another point to consider is his ‘Is it demonic to think ducks are adorable?’ debate; saying it out loud was _decidedly not demonic_ behaviour.

Aziraphale was looking at him in stunned silence. Then he sighed again. “You were thinking about ducks the whole time?” he asked as if he couldn’t believe it. Though of course he did.

Crap! What could the demon say to that? “Uh...yes?...I guess you could say I was having a philosophical debate. In my head.” he explained. Yes, the fact it was philosophy question made it less embarrassing.

Again Aziraphale was looking at him in stunned silence. Finally he spoke. “A philosophical debate about ducks?” he asked, clearly still baffled.

Crowley tried to hide his embarrassing blush. Hearing it reflected back did make the excuse sound...strange. Certainly _undemonlike._ He decided another crucial point in his ‘Is it demonic to think ducks are adorable?’ debate. Speaking to others about said debate was also _undemonlike_. “Yes?” he answered hesitantly, trying to avoid Aziraphale’s eyes.

“And what was the nature of this debate?” Aziraphale asked, still trying to grasp the subject matter.

Crowley took a deep breath and shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about this. It had been fun in his head but outside his head, it just felt like humiliation. What did ducks even matter anyway? He tried to glare at the ducks in the pond, blame them for the pain he felt; but he couldn’t. They were innocent...and adorable. _Sorry_ , he thought, an apology to any ducks who might have felt his glare.

He heard his angel sigh sadly. He could feel the dejected feeling in the angels aura but couldn’t find it in himself to react. What did it matter? Any of it? The ducks? The pond? The park? It was meant to be a nice walk in the park...and he had spoilt it. He hated the anger that was rising him. He hated that it made him be mean to others.

He carefully pulled himself from the bench and sat on the grass in front of the pond. He heard a sound and there was suddenly a duck sitting in front of him. It was glaring at him and seemed to expect an answer. “Er...hi? I don’t have any bread, if thats what your asking.” he tried.

He could swear that the duck was looking at him like he was an idiot. “Well what else could you be saying? Its not like I speak duck!” he replied sharply.

He was rewarded with a sharp pinch as the duck bit him.

“Alright. Sorry, okay? I suppose I shouldn’t have been so harsh.” he apologised.

The duck seemed to accept. It flapped its wings, then paused, staring intently at the demon. Its wings were feathered. They reminded Crowley of angels…like Aziraphale. Like Aziraphale! He understood the message. _Quit sulking like an idiot and comfort your damn angel!_

He didn’t have to see to feel Aziraphale's confusion and sadness. He could feel the angel second guessing himself from here. That wouldn’t do. He growled, the demon in him possessively demanding he make his angel stop hurting. No one made his mate...uh friend...hurt and got away with it!

He dragged his feet to the bench again. “Sorry” he offered, letting the word hang in the space between them. “I….uh...I checked out and didn’t notice I had hurt you. Forgive me?” he offered. “If even the damned duck can tell I’m an idiot, I can’t see how I missed it.” he added.

That made the angel pay attention. “Duck? Ducks can’t do that. You must be imagining it.” Aziraphale commented. But he was also smiling. Meaning he had already forgiven the demon.

“This one can. Actually I sorta recognise it too. I swear I saw it last time we were here.” Crowley added.

Aziraphale sighed deeply. “Ducks don’t live that long.” he simply commented.

“This one can!” the demon insisted.

Aziraphale gave another long suffering sigh. “Unless its not really a duck, its just not possible!” he explained.

“Theres a thought! What if its _not really_ a duck!” the demon announced excitedly. Like a kid playing pirates who had just discovered the lost treasure.

Azirphale sighed, _again,_ and knew he had lost Crowley, _again_. It was hopeless try and follow the logic. It was hopeless to try understand. Though his friend was cheerfully smiling again. That was something.

Watching them, the duck or the _not-really-a-duck_ as it were, seemed content. They were both happy again. She wished them a long and mostly happy life, she really did. Even if one was hers and one had fallen from her grace. Of course they weren’t to know they had just met God. And, she mused, they would probably never solve the mystery of the not-really-a-duck anyway.


End file.
